Hi Folks, I won't reveal who I am on OkCupid, But i'm a software engineer and I made my own program to datamine the profiles to find out the odds of everything. I don't live in Melbourne, Australia but I datamined this city as an example. What it revealed was the following:. There is about users active within the last month at the time I datamined.
Turns out Dubai has better odds for dating. The most conflicting question between the two sexes were "men like playing video games a lot" and women don't like men playing video games. For one particular question that was asking what is the most annoying thing about dating online, women said "men just want hook ups" while men said "Sick of the same type of dates each time".
The "research" of this article seems pretty weak and uses a bad example. She was active for a week or less? Meanwhile, the guy had been active for months. Try reading this article: I tried online dating for a couple of years. I spent time writing my profile, adding pictures and trying to accurately list hobbies, etc. I wrote crafted messages, carefully read profiles and was always respectful. I did not write to women who said "don't write me" for criteria I didn't meet.
Most of the women were very much like the "alternet" article, above. They were not serious about a relationship even if they claimed to be and they took advantage of the situation. It's hard to blame them and they didn't mean any harm by it.
It was simply "too easy". They could enjoy the ride for however long suited them and hop off when they wanted. The online dating experience for men is nothing like that. I definitely had to do all the work in addition to sending the first message. Decisions were always left to me such as where to go. It was always my responsibility to make sure the date was interesting.
It was up to me to provide or initiate interesting conversation. So, we'd go out once or sometimes more but then she'd stop responding. Almost exclusively, that was the way women dealt with it. There was only one I can remember that bothered to reply and tell me we weren't a match after a date. More than one woman told me she wasn't interested via message before we dated and I appreciated the response and always said so, in a polite response.
It's discouraging to hear how many men abuse women who take the time to say "no thanks". Decent men appreciate it, believe me! Sadly, the experience was fruitless and frustrating. Most of the time, women didn't respond and I had to work really hard to get those dates. This breeds an environment where men have to "shotgun" out messages. I've never done that but it might be the better way to have success. I think online dating is bad for women because they get flooded with crap and at the same time, can fall into the trap of taking the good ones for granted.
Online dating can be difficult for both sexes. However, it really is more difficult for men. That's just the reality of it. And I know it's not all bad. It's worked for a lot of people. Then women date a guy and when she learns of his Flaws, as no Man is perfect , she gets tired of putting up with less-than-perfect and then boot him to the curb.
In 30 seconds or less she is then back on the Internet searching for Mr Perfect, she finds the next Man and the vicious cycle repeats itself. I'm a woman, attractive, good head on her shoulders, financially independent. And the experience you are describing is happening to me on match. The men I went on dates with just tried to hook up, although claiming that they are looking for a life partner on their profile. Looks like this is not a gender specific problem, but perhaps the majority of people on there being low quality. The problem here is pretty simple: Women know that they will get a shit ton of messages and likes, even the marginally attractive ones.
Therefore, they have a reason to be as picky as they want. But that comes at a price. Most of those messages are awful and disrespectful. Men on the other hand get nowhere unless theyre, like someone else said "a non famous Brad Pitt. In reality its only a small percentage of both parties that are shallow and only interested in "the book cover" so to speak.
Leave them alone if they are not interested. Dont be a disrespectful creep, because not only will you not get anywhere yourself, but you will ruin it for all the nice guys. Give some of them a chance. The ones who arent being disrespectful dont deserve to be brushed off just because "eh, Ill get more like them anyway. Dont complain about how all guys are the same when you only go after certain types of guys and ignore ones that are possibly different.
They dont want someone to treat them like a sex object and make creepy remarks about their bodies. Also learn to take no for an answer. If shes not into it let it go, dont harass her. I agree with what the AW in the interview said. Most of the guys who messaged me were older men posing as men in their twenties. I got messaged a lot by guys who just were interested in hooking up, a decent number of which had fetishes, some of which were kind of terrifying. I went on 20 dates all of which ended in flames.
One guy talked about his ex the whole time and then told me he planned to take me to his family reunion for the second date to meet his family. Another told me he was talking me to dinner, drove me to his place and then demanded I clean his apartment if I wanted a ride home. Another completely lied on his profile and I thought he was just another nice college student. He was 35, jobless, living in his car because his ex threw him out and he was hoping he could crash with me in exchange for sex.
The only successful date I went on was with a nice guy pretty far on the spectrum. Unfortunately we didn't match very well in real life and now are just friends. I'm incredibly introverted person so I have to say, I'm still pretty traumatized from the experience.
I messaged guys and only responded to messages that seemed to be from "nice" guys. I am not huge on looks, I could care less about colors or height or things. I really based my selection off of the profiles the guy's wrote. I don't care a ton about education level, I honestly was looking for a nice guy to sit down and talk to but got nothing more than a horror show. I work with all men so I am very sympathetic to the nice guys out there who get the short end of the stick.
It just takes a very thick skin, a lot of courage and energy for us ladies to put ourselves out there like that, same as you. A lot of nice girls aren't cut out for it, so try to be patient and understanding. It's obvious we speak different languages. Men, we need to stop being afraid of rejection.
I'm happily single, but not for lack of options. If I see a pretty woman, I say hi. If she's into me, great. If not, her loss. If you work on being the man you want to become, you don't have to worry about some girl sifting through profiles to find you. Geek or no geek dating: But this is my humble opinion after dating and trying for years. It's time to wake up and grow up i guess; maybe they would date real women for a change, or it will be pumping a soullessclone or avatar pretty soon. The elites are already on to it for 50 to 70 years Saying that men destroy the planet and all it's citizens provides a pretty good explanation of why you're finding what you find when you look for men.
You used a 19 year old girl for this survey?
She can't even qualify for half the profile questions AND she was online for 1 week? I think the legitimate women are online because of busy work schedules and lifestyles and they don't hang out anywhere much My reason too.. The rest of the "flakes" yep , met three flakes in 2months online have insecurity issues , are demanding to the point that they should probably start adopting cats for the future they will eventually be that older woman with a bunch of cats , sad but So WHY would a woman resort to online dating if real life meetings and dating was working for her?
Cause they were NOT working for her!! They were extremely unsuccessful in the real world so the last resort is get tons of attention online and live in that fantasy romance which will prob never happen..
When I reject men they become hyper focused on changing my mind. That aside, the rest of your comment seems excessively harsh. I can't believe the BS in this opinion piece. Another told me he was talking me to dinner, drove me to his place and then demanded I clean his apartment if I wanted a ride home. However, I don't think the online dating model is productive, for all the reasons mentioned in the posts below. Yeah, I got a bunch of "hey sexy! Yes, but you have the option to ignore every new e-mail as a woman.